Band practice
by Darcy Chambers
Summary: Crash and the band are 'working out' their new sound. It's not quite there but it's close. All they need is a little more practice, a venue and a damn good name. Read on, you'll 'dig it.'


**Don't own Discworld, don't own these characters, don't own their lack of talent - it was all there when i found them in Pratchett's novel Soul Music.**

**I thought these guys were hilarious and loved trying to work out their band's ever changing name so I had a go. See if you can work it out. Btw i gave Noddy a sax cos i just picture him holding it and failing to look cool :P**

**Enjoy, DC**

"Uh one! Uh two! Uh one, two, three!" All four members of The Rotating Pebbles strummed, blew or banged their chosen instruments in unison creating a very unique sound which sounded, to several people walking by, quite like an industrial accident. The passersby's therefore paid it no attention as the sound came from the shed just behind the Alchemist's Guild. At last the noise came to an end, to the relief of the barn owls which had adapted to the dangerous conditions and had been nesting in the rafters. Wiping beads of perspiration from his forehead, Crash glanced back at his band and grinned.

"Awesome," he breathed. Jimbo looked skeptical.

"But not quite... Music With Rocks In," he said. From behind his rocks, Scum nodded.

"It's close guys...close. Mr Dibbler's even got us a new gig!" He unstrapped himself from his guitar and laid it religiously against the wall.

"Where?" asked Noddy. He'd recently acquired a horn which he was currently polishing with his elbow. The fact that it was bent in two places didn't seem to prevent him from trying to blow music out of it. In fact, he said the S shape made it sound even better. Jimbo had remarked that he didn't see how it could sound any worse.

"The Bucket," said Crash brightly.

"_The_ Bucket? said Jimbo.

"Yep,"

"What...The _Bucket_?"

"Yep,"

"The one in Gleam Street? Run by Ol' Cheesy? But thats a copper's pub!"

"Yep..." Crash's smile had remained fixed to his face. He'd had the same initial reaction too but after Mr Dibbler had explained to him, it all sounded...awesome. Mr Dibbler had originally charged the group around $5 to play in such a high profile venue. Guaranteed protection and - hey - the Watch weren't _allowed_ to kill civilians! But Crash had reminded him this was only when they were _on_ duty.

"Fine - fine! I can probably get your bill to around $4, oh all right, $3.50 to play but that cutting my own throat mind you!" Crash had gratefully accepted the offer and had ran back to inform his band of the bargain. And had promptly forgotten about it after changed their name for this twelfth time. Now he had remembered, he saw an argument in his near future.

"Look, it's a _safe_ gig guys!"

"Safe? What's so safe about ol' Stoneface off duty? In a _pub_?" Jimbo's face was a mask off horror.

"Chill Jimbo," said Scum tucking his sticks away.

"Yeah they'll really dig us," said Crash. There was a pause.

"Dig us?" repeated Noddy and Jimbo together. Crash looked thoughtful for a moment. He hadn't intentionally used the phrase. It had just _fitted_ into the sentence and now it was there, it looked good.

"Yeah," he said defensively.

"Dig us an unmarked grave more like," muttered Jimbo rolling his eyes.

"After they shoot us or something," added Noddy from the back. Crash tried not to throw something at Noddy, shoved his hands deep into in his pockets and changed the conversation.

"Anyway I was thinking...'The Rotating Pebbles' isn't really working for us anymore. I think we need a new name. Preferably in time for this gig tonight."

"Machineskull?"

"ABCD?"

"Weapons n' Flowers?"

"The seaside schoolboys?"

"You ever been to school Scum?"

"Nah,"

"Then, no." The gang paused, each deep in thought. Crash looked at his watch. Only a few more hours until their gig and they _really_ needed to practice. He had an idea.

"What did you have for dinner last night Noddy?"

"Well we had left-overs so it was...freezing cold chilly pizza...with pepper 'course."

"That'll do."


End file.
